How to Call Your Representatives If You Hate Talking on the Phone

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1. Spend days alternately horrified by X issue and terrified of what everybody else will think of you for feeling horrified.

2. Realize it’s now or never.

3. Work up your courage (minimum 30 minutes).

4. Google (again) to confirm that representatives really only care about calls, not emails. (Seriously?! WHY.)

5. Continue to work up courage. This time, stare at your phone.

6. Google a call script that fits your personality.

7. Edit out verbs like “outrage” and adjectives like “tone-deaf” and sweeping generalizations like “EVERYBODY ELSE AGREES WITH ME!”

8. Pray, pray, pray that staffers don’t stay past 6 PM.

9. Pray some more that if they do, they’re staying late because constituents are flooding the lines and you’ll get sent to voicemail.

10. Hit the dial button/panic (simultaneous).

11. Stumble through. (THANK GOD IT’S VOICEMAIL!)

12. Repeat for X number of representatives.

13. Celebrate democracy, 9-5 work days, and beloved voicemail.

14. Post to Facebook.

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10 thoughts on “How to Call Your Representatives If You Hate Talking on the Phone

  1. Mrs. Q

    Here’s my version:
    1. Think though the issue & study BOTH sides for more than a few days. This way I actually know what I think & why I think it.
    2. Realize God is in charge, I’m not, & understand my hysteria may serve to cause more division.
    3. Pray for discernment. If courage is needed, ask Him to give me what I need to do His will, not my own.
    4. Use any other search engine than Google since their results tend to be skewed. Startpage is excellent as it’s more private too.
    5. Ask friends (in person) whose opinions are different from mine for their insights on the issue. Ask questions respectfully & with open minded curiosity.
    6. Write down main points & arguments. Spend time making arguments concise & to the point.
    7. Realize what I think about the issue is likely to change with time, maturity, and discernment. Understand there are plenty of folks who think differently & be willing to see where they may be correct.
    8. Pray for grace, discernment, and patience. Ask the Lord to help keep my heart from hardness while knowing the enemy thrives on confusion & our attempts at remaking the world in our own image.
    9. Read the Bible, specifically what it says about strife, hate, hypocrisy, and warfare in this world. Assess the issue again from this view.
    10. Remember that we needn’t worry about that to say (especially if we have succinct points).
    11. Stumble through the call (having notes- about 3 sentences worth is plenty) and move on after the call is over.
    12. Call whoever may be helpful, knowing it’s likely your voice may help, but may also harm.
    13. Celebrating being an engaged citizen isn’t nearly as fun as simply being a kind citizen to everyone, even those we disagree with (especially those we disagree with).
    14. Don’t post the process on FB as it’s usually about self serving attention & not about loving. Tell friends in person your process & be willing to be uncomfortable with the feedback from another embodied soul.
    15. Bake cookies.

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      • Bailey Steger

        Mrs. Q, I want to apologize for being so blunt and snippy with you. I had a chance to respond with graciousness and an intent to understand (as you responded to my rude comment), and I instead chose to respond out of hurt. Please forgive me for my rudeness, and thank you for modelling graciousness yourself.

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      • Mrs. Q

        You know my tone in my initial comment was probably more serious than intended. I thought the #15 Bake cookies point was kinda funny…
        Blessings to you.

        Like

    • Emma

      You are smart enough to realize that Startpage is google . . . right?

      *Rereads point 1.

      Your are smart enough to study and think . . . right?

      Don’t worry with time, maturity, and discernment you might be willing to see where others may be correct.

      I’ll pray for you too. Love!

      Like

      • Mrs. Q

        Thank you for responding. Yes I do realize that about Startpage. It’s like Google without the Google but it’s more private which can be nice. I appreciate the prayers.

        Like

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