1. Spend days alternately horrified by X issue and terrified of what everybody else will think of you for feeling horrified.
2. Realize it’s now or never.
3. Work up your courage (minimum 30 minutes).
4. Google (again) to confirm that representatives really only care about calls, not emails. (Seriously?! WHY.)
5. Continue to work up courage. This time, stare at your phone.
6. Google a call script that fits your personality.
7. Edit out verbs like “outrage” and adjectives like “tone-deaf” and sweeping generalizations like “EVERYBODY ELSE AGREES WITH ME!”
8. Pray, pray, pray that staffers don’t stay past 6 PM.
9. Pray some more that if they do, they’re staying late because constituents are flooding the lines and you’ll get sent to voicemail.
10. Hit the dial button/panic (simultaneous).
11. Stumble through. (THANK GOD IT’S VOICEMAIL!)
12. Repeat for X number of representatives.
13. Celebrate democracy, 9-5 work days, and beloved voicemail.
14. Post to Facebook.