I really do love teaching, and to prove it, here’s an excerpt from the worst day of school so far. I now find it one the best, most hilarious memories of first-year teaching!

Art is an emotional subject, particularly in kindergarten.

Observe:

Child 1: “Teacher, I can’t draw a fish.”

Me: “That’s okay, honey. I don’t consider myself a good artist either. What’s important is that you just try your hardest.”

Child 1: “But I can’t.”

Me: “If I draw a fish, will you draw a fish?”

Child 1 nods. I draw fish. I have no idea if she ever draws a fish, because…..

Child 2: “Teacher! I don’t know how to draw a shark!”

Me: “If I draw a shark, will you draw a shark?”

Child 2 nods. I draw shark. I have no idea if he ever drew a shark because Child 3 approaches me in tears.

Child 3: “Teacher, I can’t draw a [unintelligible].”

Me: “What do you mean? That’s a great fish!”

Child 3: “It’s a shark.”

Me: “Yeah! It’s a great shark!”

Child 2 (interrupting): “Look, teacher! I drew a person getting eaten by your shark!”

Child 4 begins crying for no apparent reason.

Child 3 (sobbing): “Teacher, I can’t draw a shark!”

Me: “Honey, why don’t you like your shark? It really does look like a shark. You should be proud!”

Child 3: “I can’t draw the tail!”

Child 5: “I DON’T WANT TO DRAW!” *rips up paper*

Me: “Good thing I have another paper!”

Child 5: “I WON’T DO IT.”

Me: “Why don’t you want to draw?”

Child 5: “I DON’T LIKE SEA ANIMALS.”

Me: “Really? What do you like?”

Child 5: “I like my Playstation.”

Me: “Well, do you have a game with sea creatures in it?”

Child 5: “Yeah. Sharks and fishes.”

Me: “Well, then draw a picture of that.”

Child 5: “Nooo, teacher, I don’t want to draw!”

Me: “Do you want to write a sentence about it instead?”

Child 5: “Yeah!”

Child 3: “Teacher, I can’t draw a shark!”

Child 2: “Teacher, look at the shark! He’s eating a person!”

Child 3 (still sobbing): “Teacher, p-p-p-please draw me a fish.”

Child 5: “I did it, teacher! What does it say?”

Me: “Uhhh….what does it say to you?”

Child 5: “‘The shark ate Mario.'”

Child 6: “Teacher, Child 4 is crying!!!!”