I spent most of my pre- and post-pubescent years learning about how not to have sex, so learning how to have sex went against my entire physical and psychological conditioning. I got lots of practical advice, but not all of it worked.
Like, “Don’t worry — you’ll figure it out. It’s natural.” (It wasn’t. It just wasn’t. I had to Google it. Multiple times. In tears. Because it wasn’t.)
But the biggest practical sex myth — the one I keep hearing preached to newlyweds like gospel — is that you need to pop the cherry.
You do not need to break your hymen in order to have sex the first time.
Which means you do not need to keep pushing, despite excruciating pain, until something breaks and bleeds.
If you’re bleeding during sex, stop. Your vagina’s lining is bleeding, not your hymen. It means you’re not lubricated enough, and/or you and your hubby are playing it too rough. Add more lube. More than you think. Do more foreplay. A lot more than you think.
If you’re in pain during sex, stop forcing it. You should not feel pain. Your hymen is not resisting you. It probably disappeared a long time ago that one time you attempted to do cardio. Do not try to pop, break, or tear anything. Slow down. Add more lube. More than you think. Do more foreplay. A lot more than you think.
And be patient. It can take several days to relax enough for full, mostly painless penetration.
Oh, and if anybody tries to tell you that breaking the hymen represents the shedding of Christ’s redemptive blood? It doesn’t. Because (1) that’s literally not anywhere in the Bible, and (2) the hymen doesn’t bleed during first-time sex. Nothing should bleed.
Apologies for the diatribe, but sheesh! This myth needs to die in a hole and never come back again!
What sex myths have you heard?