Something to Talk About

If you’re anything like me, you struggle with small talk. Every Friday, I put together a bunch of different things to talk about as you head into your weekend. Hopefully they’ll spare you a few awkward silences!

Three things to watch/read after hearing about the Stanford rape: Ann Voskamp’s letter to her boys, why asking God’s forgiveness isn’t enough, and the Brits explain consent in the simplest terms.

The most controversial post I’ve ever written.

Post-nuptial depression is, sadly, a thing.

The cereal companies have deceived us all! But now I want fruit loops….

Enjoy your weekend!

4 thoughts on “Something to Talk About

  1. Daniel Abbott

    I read your “most controversial post,” and I kept thinking about Revelation 2:17. And what is the point of a name that nobody else knows?

    I’ve wrestle with that passage for a long time. Bread from heaven is alright, but why do I need a new name? I happen to like my name. If I get a new name, will I still be me? Of course, I know a name, or title, isn’t me. And God gives good and perfect gifts. But this passage has always baffled and (though I hate to admit it) frightened me. I can’t even tell you why, except, that my thoughts run along the same thought line as your post.

    Maybe, Revelation 2:17 isn’t written to me? But I have always believed that it is.


    • Bailey Steger

      This verse also came to mind when I was writing my article. I don’t know the answer. Revelation is apocryphal and metaphorical; maybe the new name represents our new identity in Christ or our “new creatureness.” If we actually get new names, I can only imagine that those names grasp the core of our identity even more than our current names do.


  2. Savannah Rudkin

    I also read the “controversial” post, and it really resonated with some stuff I’ve been working through lately and actually really helped me.

    The boy (who isn’t so much a boy as an amazing man) and I have been dating for long enough that marriage is certainly on the radar and (more often than I’d like to admit) on the brain. In classic girly fashion I occasionally daydream, testing out the concept of our my future “new name.”

    It used to be cute in high school to think about the cute boys I liked and picture myself as Mrs. Cute Boy from Math Class vs Mrs. Cute Boy from Youth Group and I’d compare which last name sounded better with my name. In fact, if I had a crush and his last name didn’t work with my name, I found it deeply unsettling.

    However, some ten years later, I find the game has changed. I’ve never been overly fond of my own last name, or so I thought. But when I play my “new name” back in my mind, it doesn’t taste right. I have built myself a reputation, as you say, an identity. My last name is tied up in the years I have spent learning, writing, traveling, breaking and healing–becoming a whole person. It is a tie to my Irish heritage and to a family which through its many imperfections has taught me to be strong and proud. I had begun to seriously question whether, when the time comes, I would be able and willing to part with my surname of 26+ years.

    Then I read your post. When I read “‘Steger’ signifies our new life together,” it was like waking up. I’ve gone over this so many times in mind, completely neglecting the idea of covenant and the symbolism of receiving a new name. I mean look at Abram, Sarai, Jacob, Saul; new names were a pretty big deal for them. Then I thought about what that symbolism means not just as a Christian, but as a spouse. I wonder, in fact, if there is much egalitarian literature on the idea of sealing a marital covenant with the husband’s name and the corresponding implications with regard to mutual submission vs. Complementarianism.

    I know that none of that was exactly the purpose of your post, so sorry for the divergence. I am sorry for the feelings of invisibility and the sense of loss you have suffered. In my own studies, I’ve always found that names are extremely important. As I’m sure you’re aware, Jewish culture ascribes great power to the convention of naming. Plus, it’s one of the first things we see man do in Genesis. Yours is not an insignificant grievance.

    I hope that your experiences and the resulting discussions/searching will ultimately lead to greater awareness and respect for you amongst your family and peers and will be an example for women in similar situations. I imagine that as you work through this and become more comfortable in your new life, your family will begin to recognize you as the shining individual that you are. From the talent, passion and intellect I have seen in your posts through the years, they would have to be blind not to see you.

    In the meantime, I hope that you can give yourself the grace and the room to experience the discomfort of adjusting to married life, saying goodbye to some pieces of single life and reshaping others so that they fit into the new story that you’re creating.

    Anddddd apologies for the world’s most ramblingest comment/reply.


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s